Tapsearch Com EditorUsing your listening ear and speaking out
By Ray Tapajna, editor and artist at Tapart News ( Clinton site )from notes about being a good listener
Having a listening ear is a practical exercise for speaking and it also makes you a better person to be around - become a silent speaker before you speak your mind openly.
Being a good listener does not necessarily make you a good speaker but it helps.
Socrates had an endearing way about him and used questions for his student to come to their own conclusions. He intently listened to what they had to say. With his natural listening and questioning techinques, the student became more aware of their false conclusions without Socrates confronting them directly. Socrates focused on self-improvement as a priority for the other person and himself in any listening or teaching actvity.
Becoming a good listener, will help you do the same. Take on the personality of the person as they express their mind. Listening is the door to others minds and souls. Feel the content of what they are saying based on who they are and not who you are. This way you can build good content and be ready for a good feedback. It trains you to build files in your mind with which you can draw out the right responses at the right time. Your mind becomes a storage file with labels on each for the proper moment.
It helps with any inferior complex tendencies or speech anxieties you may have. It teaches you how to be relaxed and patient. Socrates lived at a time when status was important but he did not use his in his teaching methods. He did not go into politics but taught many politicians the skills they needed in their chosen profession.
Here's some good listening habits, you can acquire - we call it silent speaking.
Be very attentive to those you love and take exceptional care in making listening a habit with them especially. Listening can be a magical experience when love rules the process. In listening you can rub the rims of their souls to find the cracks that may need mending. You can be there with them in their inner trials.
Listen to the voice in yourself. Grow your understanding. When others speak, let them complete their thoughts before jumping in. Listen with all of your attention on them and not immediately have a countering thought ready.
Criticize only when asked for you opinion. Try to remain calm and base your reactions on what is best for all parties involved.
Know that listening can be a rewarding experience, knowing you really want to understand others.
Keep an open mind and really care about the other person's thoughts - even when you know they are wrong.
Relax, because listening attracts relaxation making it a two way street.
Tell yourself that life is good when you listen. Problems become easier to solve.
Give others your full attention and have good eye contact.
Look beyond the words the person is using to what they really are trying to say. You can then feel a wound behind what they are talking saying.
Know that conversation and communication can make life a positive experience. Know that what may be trivial to you is not trivial to the speaker and you want to participate in their lives. Respect what they have to say.
No conversation is too small and there may be an important message behind what is being said. Even short conversation can help others. Know that men and women are only different in style and not in substance.
Listening at work is a good habit to have. You will attract others to come to you for help. At the same time you are networking in the best way possible. Of course listening at home should be ruled by love rather than having any other objectives. Everyone at work or at home , opens up to a good listener.
So help others when they are ready to hear what you have to say and not before they are ready to listen to you. Listen before you offer answers always , even if you know the answer before the person starts speaking.
Know that listening is a good and positive thing to do - according to the biblical saying - do unto others as you want them to do you .
Listening can be something you do with yourself too. You can tape what you are thinking and play it back . You can add positive thoughts in an auto suggestive way this way too.
Record all the good things you have to tell yourself and record with some of your best music playing in the background. You can be better and better everyday in every way. You can also repeat some of the statements above that you want to sink in.
Having a listening ear is a practical exercise for speaking and it also makes you a better person to be around - become a silent speaker before you speak your mind openly.
Being a good listener does not necessarily make you a good speaker but it helps.
Socrates had an endearing way about him and used questions for his student to come to their own conclusions. He intently listened to what they had to say. With his natural listening and questioning techinques, the student became more aware of their false conclusions without Socrates confronting them directly. Socrates focused on self-improvement as a priority for the other person and himself in any listening or teaching actvity.
Becoming a good listener, will help you do the same. Take on the personality of the person as they express their mind. Listening is the door to others minds and souls. Feel the content of what they are saying based on who they are and not who you are. This way you can build good content and be ready for a good feedback. It trains you to build files in your mind with which you can draw out the right responses at the right time. Your mind becomes a storage file with labels on each for the proper moment.
It helps with any inferior complex tendencies or speech anxieties you may have. It teaches you how to be relaxed and patient. Socrates lived at a time when status was important but he did not use his in his teaching methods. He did not go into politics but taught many politicians the skills they needed in their chosen profession.
Here's some good listening habits, you can acquire - we call it silent speaking.
Be very attentive to those you love and take exceptional care in making listening a habit with them especially. Listening can be a magical experience when love rules the process. In listening you can rub the rims of their souls to find the cracks that may need mending. You can be there with them in their inner trials.
Listen to the voice in yourself. Grow your understanding. When others speak, let them complete their thoughts before jumping in. Listen with all of your attention on them and not immediately have a countering thought ready.
Criticize only when asked for you opinion. Try to remain calm and base your reactions on what is best for all parties involved.
Know that listening can be a rewarding experience, knowing you really want to understand others.
Keep an open mind and really care about the other person's thoughts - even when you know they are wrong.
Relax, because listening attracts relaxation making it a two way street.
Tell yourself that life is good when you listen. Problems become easier to solve.
Give others your full attention and have good eye contact.
Look beyond the words the person is using to what they really are trying to say. You can then feel a wound behind what they are talking saying.
Know that conversation and communication can make life a positive experience. Know that what may be trivial to you is not trivial to the speaker and you want to participate in their lives. Respect what they have to say.
No conversation is too small and there may be an important message behind what is being said. Even short conversation can help others. Know that men and women are only different in style and not in substance.
Listening at work is a good habit to have. You will attract others to come to you for help. At the same time you are networking in the best way possible. Of course listening at home should be ruled by love rather than having any other objectives. Everyone at work or at home , opens up to a good listener.
So help others when they are ready to hear what you have to say and not before they are ready to listen to you. Listen before you offer answers always , even if you know the answer before the person starts speaking.
Know that listening is a good and positive thing to do - according to the biblical saying - do unto others as you want them to do you .
Listening can be something you do with yourself too. You can tape what you are thinking and play it back . You can add positive thoughts in an auto suggestive way this way too.
Record all the good things you have to tell yourself and record with some of your best music playing in the background. You can be better and better everyday in every way. You can also repeat some of the statements above that you want to sink in.
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